First memories are important, they can shape and form our minds and hearts. Lu's first memories are of Asia, Cambodia to be precise. Although the images in her mind are fuzzy and abstract these images have set the foundation of home in her heart.
Cambodia = Home.
This is the place she went from rolling to crawling, where she ate solid food for the first time, where her aunties and uncles, grandmas and grandpas doted on her. Of course, this where anyone would call home when the feeling you get just thinking about this place brings up memories of family and food and adventure.
She tells her preschool teacher and classmates that she is from Cambodia, and perhaps even adopted from there. She undoubtedly believes that she is Khmer. There is nothing in this world that could get her to believe that she resides, and was born, in America.
And you know, I am okay with this.
I think that our hearts long for a home. A place where our hearts are intertwined with people despite the physical distance between us. A place where the comfort you feel is not found in earthly things but feels more heavenly and divine. Sometimes the place we live is not the place we call home. We long for the country we love and the people who live there.
"Momma, I am going home."
This Fall we are going to Cambodia. When we broke the news to her she squealed. She covered her face with her hands and giggled. This was the exact reaction I had anticipated. As a mom, I know that the time will come when she moves away, knowing the mileage between us will feel like she moved to the moon. I take comfort in knowing that home to her is not defined by space and distance but by the measure of our hearts. Right now, I am taking my daughter back to her home; I cannot wait to share with her the culture and people. This time, her memories will be sharpened and have distinct shape. She will take in the sights and smell and heat and rain. She will find herself in the arms of aunties and grandmas who will dote on her again, confirming that this place is in fact, home.